Arlyn & Mal de Debarquement Syndrome

It’s REAL and I believe you.

Thousands of people depart to go on a cruise every single day. It’s a huge industry.

Would you want to take that seven day Caribbean cruise if you knew there was the distinct possibility that you could get off the ship and never be the same ever again? I don’t mean that the fantastic experience of seeing new and exotic places, ancient ruins and historical buildings has changed your outlook on life.

I mean you get off the ship and the world feels as though you never disembarked. The world continues to rock and sway just like the ship did, to the degree that you cannot walk a straight line and have great difficulty doing ordinary things like putting on your underpants or repeatedly bending over to do laundry.

Is this a real thing, or have I manufactured it to create a form of conflict a fiction novel?

I assure you, I’m not making anything up. I’ve created some awful tortures and gross deaths. This is so insidious that I don’t think even I could ever conjure it up.

It is called Mal de Debarquement Syndrome (MDDS) and it is horrifically real. I know someone who is afflicted, and her story has inspired me to include the condition as a major underlying theme in my novel Arlyn: Adjutant & Apostle.

Many medical professionals have never heard of this, and will actually tell a patient it’s in their head. Some sufferers go to doctor after doctor, perhaps 8 to 10 physicians, before finding one who recognizes the symptoms and puts the mystery together.

Having the diagnosis does not mean it will go away, however. If you do a search for the term, you’ll find a study or two, and a website or two dedicated to educating the populace. The information is interesting but limited. The single greatest source of information, cruise lines, won’t cooperate in gathering information. Having the condition more widely known might hurt their bottom line, you see. It’s an unfortunate fact of big business to ignore that which may do them harm and hope no one notices.

The average sufferer is a woman between 35 and 55. Some may have had her period during the voyage, but the correlation is not proven. However, a girl aged 15 is noted, as is a woman nearly 70 years old. Men also get the condition, but in far fewer numbers. It also can happen from simple things like riding an escalator or an elevator, riding a train, though I did not find statistics on the frequency of those incidents. While we cannot point one single finger at the cruise lines, it’s impossible to ask an elevator to gather statistics on people who get off and the world is swaying for the rest of their lives.

If you really want to understand how horrific this affliction is, read the discussion boards. You will get a blunt and heart-wrenching view of daily life with MDDS, straight from the fingers of those who suffer it. Some have endured it for decades. Some were fortunate that it went away within a few months. It seems the longer a person has symptoms, the more likely it will be permanent.

See, there is no cure. There’s not likely to be one because there’s not enough work being done for it. There really isn’t much of any treatment either. Doctors try this drug and that drug, usually antidepressants. But if the syndrome is linked to hormones and hormonal changes (such as before, during, and immediately after a woman’s period), antidepressants really aren’t going to do much of anything.

Lying down helps some people, but makes it worse for others. People have to go to work. How can you go to work when you can’t sit up or sit at a desk? If the world is rocking so much you can’t sit up for more than a few minutes at a time, how are you supposed to drive yourself anywhere? Maybe the motion of the car might help, but that’s not certain for everyone who has the condition. Some sufferers are completely incapacitated and are disabled for the duration of their affliction. Might be half a year. Might be a year and a half. What if you’re still afflicted ten years later?

Sure, there are good days and bad days, but simply walking a curved path or watching a video of a person on a horse could change a good day into a horrible day. If it goes away, there is always the fear that it will come back again, at any time.

I was compelled to bring more attention to this vicious condition. I asked question after question of my friend, and she was as enthusiastic as I about spreading word of the ailment.

Once I felt I had what I needed, I stopped working on the last third of a book and went back to the beginning to edit in instances of the condition. I spent several days reading and finding places where it would assert itself, building slowly in frequency and intensity.

I believe I’ve created a compelling story. Certainly it is a topic not covered in any fiction book I’ve ever heard of. A search of Amazon for the name of the condition finds nothing more than album titles and a mention as a very small part of a much larger book about balance disorders.

There is an experimental treatment of subjecting a person to opposite motion from those that make them ill, with modest success; but it is years away from being available as a treatment. Then we have to talk about insurance even covering it. There is a billing code for the condition, but that says nothing about coverage.

Quite simply, there is no fiction story out there like this one.

There are, however, thousands of sufferers who have no hope for an actual cure. I cannot help them suffer less; but perhaps I can help others to understand better what those with the condition are going through.

It’s REAL and I believe you.

And you are not alone.

Arlyn: Adjutant & Apostle will be available to read on Halloween, 2017
To Purchase, Click Here

If this sounds like someone you know, please share this blog with them.


Winky the Blind Kitty

Winky 1 -- brighter

This little sweetie is Winky. She’s missing one eye and the other doesn’t see. She’s a young one, new to her disability and very frightened. As of this post, she’s at the Long Island Save-A-Pet.

Yesterday I took my daughter there and we handed out quilted and crochet blankets I had made.

My friend/SAP Volunteer who drove us there got this little girl out of her cage. She was so afraid that she was a fluffy lump in her bed, unmoving and uncaring. When my friend brought her out of the cage, her legs were fully pulled up, tail curled under.

She was a lost soul and I could see it. She had given up. There was no joy normally present in a kitty. There was no life in her.

I spent about two hours with this scared baby in my arms. She was so afraid she curled up in my arms and lay her head down and wouldn’t budge. My friend had been concerned she was going to try to jump out and onto the floor, but I knew she wasn’t going to go anywhere. She couldn’t see the floor to know how far down it was. She didn’t know what the room looked like to know where to run and hide. No, she wasn’t going to be going anywhere.

With the last crocheted blanket over her and my arms around her, we sat on a bench for a good fifteen minutes to half an hour while my daughter petted her face and head and talked to her. Then I started walking around with her so she could hear different rooms and smell other animals. Those ears slowly started turning this way and that. Eventually the head perked up when she heard a voice she knew, so we went to that person to say hello.

Whichever way her head turned, that was the direction we walked. We smelled numerous other kitties, but they were mostly all sleeping. It was ticky nap time.

I went to the front entry where there was another bench and sat. Within seconds, the head was up and the ears were moving and that nose was-a-goin’!


She knew what a window was, and actively listened to the cars and sniffed and sniffed at the cool air wafting in (it had started to snow on Long Island), and turned her head toward the door whenever someone came in. She remembered there was life outside that lonely cage.

She made no motion to leave my arms but did adjust herself a couple times, pulling herself a little higher over my elbow. I was happy she did that much. Would have been delighted if she’d tried to jump down, or even just purred. But…another day. Recovery happens in baby steps and just perking her ears to actively listen and turning her head to notice noises and be interested in them was huge enough for one day.

When it came time we had to leave, she went back into her cage…and straight to the blanket my friend/SAP Volunteer had put in first. It had her scent on it. My scent as well. Familiar and comforting and hers.

When I checked on her a few minutes later, and took a minute of video, her head was still up, her ears were still up. She was so markedly better that my heart was glad for her.

Sometimes, saving a soul isn’t about throwing money at a shelter. Sometimes it’s being held close to feel the warmth and heartbeat of another animal. Sometimes it’s just being held firmly and kissed and talked to and shown familiar things.

Sometimes, it’s just knowing you’re really not alone.

Quilts for Kittehs & Puppies

I have, in recent years, been giving away all the blankets and baby sweaters, cotton caps, scarves and drawstring bags that I’ve crocheted.

I’ve given them to the Ronald McDonald House of NYC for the children. I’ve given them to a nursing home for the residents. I took my daughter to the RMH twice so she would understand what it meant to give on so personal a level.

But that second time, one of the women working there was so snooty as she was coming in the door, telling my child “That’s right you stay there” that I’ve never gone back.

And then the nursing/retirement home. I learned that one of the employees took one of the blankets I’d made. I didn’t make them for employees. I made them for residents. So no more of that.

Having this pile of fabric, I’d thought to make quilts out of it. But who to give them to? Meanwhile, I helped my daughter (now just about to be 13) to finish her first quilt. A doll-sized piece for one of her stuffed animals. And I thought to myself…self, that would be a perfect size to go in a cat carrier when taking an animal home from a rescue center.

And I know someone who volunteers at a rescue center. Save-a-Pet out on Long Island. It’s not far. Postage shouldn’t be too horrible.

EUREKA! A new passion was born.

I had some triangles already cut and was going to make myself some head wraps out of them. I pinned them together to make rectangles, sewing them on the machine, pinned them to batting and cut it out. Cut out a larger piece of purple gingham left over from the bolt I’d bought for my daughter’s big blanket (now finished and only 13 years old when I did finish it!). I used the outer edges, rolling them over and over and securing to the top/batting layers to make the finished edge. Through the machine all around to secure them and then random meanderings around the middle to create the quilted effect.

Within a day, I had four little quilts finished.

They’re too small to be of much use to people but perfect for going inside the cages. I packed them up and shipped them off. My only stipulation was that the blanket an animal had with them in the cage when they were adopted should go with them to their new home. That way, they would have something of their own, something that smelled like them, when going into this brand new world where nothing would be familiar. If their own blanket with their own smell on it was under them in the carrier, they’d be more likely to be calm during the trip home. Then at home, they’d already have their own bed, wherever it was put…or dragged. They’re highly portable for the enterprising kitty.

I received pictures last night, and video, and it seems the first batch are a terrific hit. I’m simply delighted. I can see in the videos how exciting it is for the animals. They’re playing with the blanket, tunneling under, playing catch that thing with a hand sliding underneath. Such complete appreciation for this small bit of comfort.

quilts with kitties & puppy

Now I have another three on batting waiting for backs. Eight more tops sewn together. And about twenty more pinned or rolled together ready for the machine. But I need more batting. I will be having more as soon as I finish a blanket for my proofreader. But it’ll only be enough for four or five, I’m sure. I’ll have some more when I finish a quilt for myself. But, again, only four or five blankets.

I need to buy batting. And I need to pay for postage. And then when all of these materials are used up, I need to buy more fabric, more batting, more postage.

If you would like to donate cash, I’ve set up a GoFundMe account and also have a Donate button through PayPal. You can easily access whichever you would prefer to use on the Charity Work page of my website.

If you would like to purchase materials for me, I’ve made a Crafts Amazon Wishlist with fabrics and batting. I prefer a batting that’s made of recycled bottles and the size I prefer to work with is only $15 plus shipping. And I found a bunch of high quality quilting fabrics as low as $1.49 a yard! Postage for the box with the first four was about $6. It was between 1 and 2 pounds. Projecting ahead, between 3 and 4 pounds will be nearly $8. So that will quickly add up as I continue on. My initial investment has been only that first postage because I already had the fabric, the batting, the thread; but from now on, I’m having to buy things.

It’s such a worthwhile project. I cannot afford to throw wads of cash at charities. But I can offer my hands and create some comfort for the creatures who find themselves in such an unfortunate circumstance.

“What’s your personality type?” he asked…

People are forever posting their myers-briggs letters. I don’t personally think it means anything. An episode of Adam Ruins Everything explained that the MB thing was conjured up by a bored housewife and her mother in her kitchen. They read the Jung stuff and said “We can do this better!” and they made the shit up. And people ate it up with a spoon.

For all the crying about NOT being pigeon-holed into d/s or bdsm roles, those same people really are quick to slip themselves into these 16 neat little boxes.

Then there’s me.

I think it’s not nearly that neat.

The letters can change on a day to day basis depending on how I’m feeling that day. Just like that bdsm test some people take so seriously, answering just a few MB questions differently completely changes the outcome. In one, I’m 85% submissive. Answer a different way another day and I’m 90% dominant.

E or I?
Extrovert or Introvert?

Well, there’s this thing in the middle called an AMBIVERT, and I’m one. I can be outgoing and talkative. I am good at multitasking but I also sometimes like to do one thing at a time. Depends on what needs doing.

I think we’re all like that.

I don’t see what being an introvert has to do with preferring to do one thing at a time. I don’t see why an introvert can’t also be an excellent multitasker. I don’t see why an introvert can’t excel at a fast pace. One has nothing to do with the other.

T or F?
Thinker or Feeler?

Thinkers tend to make decisions using logical analysis, objectively weigh pros and cons, and value honesty, consistency, and fairness. Feelers tend to be sensitive and cooperative and decide based on their own personal values and how others will be affected by their actions.

Put side by side, those two give me another serious WTF? moment.

Would not a person who is sensitive also be interested in fairness and consistency? Can not a thinker, in weighing the pros and cons, also consider how others will be affected by their decisions?

S or N?
Sensor or Intuitive?

Sensors are realistic people who like to focus on facts and details, and apply common sense and past experience to come up with practical solutions to problems.

Intuitives prefer to focus on possibilities and the big picture, easily see patterns, value innovation, and seek creative solutions to problems.

(rubs hands together) Now we’re really going to ruffle some feathers.

What about the intuitives line says they’re not or can’t be realistic? Things that are “possible”, that are subsequently enacted, are realistic. If they work, they are practical.

What about the sensor says they can’t see the big picture or patterns?

Using common sense and past experience can lead to innovation and creative solutions.

J or P?
Judger or Perceiver?

Judgers tend to be organized and prepared, like to make and stick to plans and are comfortable following most rules.

Perceivers prefer to keep their options open, like to be able to act spontaneously, and like to be flexible with making plans.

Okay…but being spontaneous doesn’t mean rule breaker. And following the rules doesn’t mean can’t be spontaneous. You can make a plan and yet have that plan be flexible. You can be flexible while still being organized and prepared.

The whole thing is bullshit.

What’s my personality type?

I am an


The order of those letters will change from one day to the next. Sometimes from one hour to the next. I bet they will for you too.


Because we’re human beings.

Not hypothetical pigeons dreamed up by a bored housewife in her kitchen.

“I’ve Never Assaulted Anyone!” Are you sure about that?

A guy said: I’ve NEVER once raped or abused anyone…

Are you so sure?

There are a lot of people clamoring about “enthusiastic” consent, and if the woman isn’t enthusiastic about it, then it’s not really consent.


Did a woman reluctantly give in because you joked about having blue balls and badgered her into it? Do you know what badgering even sounds like to a woman? I doubt it.

How do you know you didn’t?

Did you call a woman a cock tease because she said no?

Did you ask a woman ten times over the course of ten weeks and she finally said yes?

Has a woman ever avoided you for months after having sex? It’s probably because she really didn’t want to but you made it seem like she had no choice.

I’m not saying you absolutely did this.

But can you absolutely say you never did?

It can be so subtle that dudes don’t even know they’re doing it.

So, sure, YOU don’t think you ever have…but if I asked all the women you ever fucked, would they have a different story?

When is a deal NOT a deal? When it comes from Spectrum.

So I got this junk mail from Spectrum regarding their new mobile phone service. You may have seen one yourself.

$45 per line per month for unlimited data or $14 per line for 1 gig each, to be shared. Oh, and you HAVE to have their internet service. If you don’t, you have to pay $20 more and limited this and that.

We have 3 phones. So that would be $42 (plus taxes, let’s say $50 a month) for a total of 3 gigs.

If you go over your shared gigs, however, they will charge you another $14 PER LINE for one more gig each. I asked this specifically, and had to repeat myself three fucking times to get her to hear me. She actually had to find that information out.

So if you go over your data allotment by so much as a quarter of a gig, you will double your phone bill. We did go over our original 3 gigs this last month, by .14 of a gig.

Not a big deal if you only have the one line. Like I said, we have three. So that turns $50 to $100, just because my daughter’s phone keeps turning off the wifi and she forgets to turn it back on.

Now that would still be saving us upwards of $35 a month, give or take a few bucks. Our average bill is about $135, and we get a 3 gig + 3 gig free, plus whatever our rollover was from the previous month. We had 10 gigs with this last bill, a very nice cushion.

So that still MIGHT be worth it…if we can use our existing phones.

Here’s where the deal turns sour.

The fine print says equipment is extra, and does not say anywhere that you can use existing phones. Because you cannot.

You have to buy their phones. For Galaxy, the lowest they have is the Galaxy 8. One phone is $500.

We have three phones, so would have to spend $1500 to buy new phones in order to save $30 a month on our bill. If we kept carefully to our 3 gigs, it would be $80 saved per month.

You can pay for those phones in monthly installments of $25 per phone, by the way. So Spectrum wants you to GO INTO DEBT to them to the tune of $500 a pop.

So we’d have to pay $75 dollars more to save five bucks. We would be in debt to the tune of $1500 for at least three years before starting to see any actual savings on this plan.

No thanks. We’ll stay with ATT. I’ve had an account there for over sixteen years and we can buy phones for under $200 when needed.

I will, however, be calling them to ask what they can do, since Spectrum CAN give me this $42 a month bill. (eyebrow waggle)

Couldn’t hurt.

My First Mammogram

I had my first mammogram on July 27, 2018.

I can’t say how any other facility does it; but the Lennox Hill Radiologist place I went to was really very quick and easy.

I didn’t wait around forever with 20 other women, like at the hospital clinic. No waiting with my boobage hanging out. Didn’t hang around at all in the gown. She showed me where to change into it and she was waiting for me to take me directly in.

The “bar” that squishes the boobies was clear plastic with a rounded edge. It didn’t squish very tight, so really wasn’t much more than a little discomfort. There was a foot pedal to control its descent and how much pressure she applied. She didn’t have to manually lower it, thus removing the potential that it could be dropped on my breasts.

The side of the machine digging into my ribs was the worst part; but that only lasted for a few seconds, so really was not a big deal either.

The technician was very professional and patient, clear in her instructions to help me place my arms properly, and proceeded quickly but without rushing.

I think I was in the xray room all of ten minutes.

If you’re putting off getting a mammogram because you’re afraid it’ll really hurt, please don’t.

Bonus: They have online access to your pictures. I sat in the comfort of my own home for about half an hour looking at the xray pictures of my boobies. It was fascinating.

Double Bonus — No issues were found. I’m good until next year.

The Brat in the Family Gets Out-Bratted!

We have a new parakeet.

You may (or may not) remember that our 11 year old yellow boy Bumper died very suddenly on July 3rd. Discussing getting a new friend for Squeak, I had the idea to check Craig’s List and see if there was a parakeet who needed a new home.

I found this boy. He’s the one on the left. He looks sea green/aqua, but he’s really a bright sky blue. She’s a darker sky blue.

Blue & Squeak

He’s six months old, and is very gentle; but not as eager to go on a hand and be with people as we were told. That’s okay. I realize he’s had a rough few weeks. He’s currently missing all his long tail feathers. I’d been told they were giving him away because they didn’t have enough time for him. I think he was out of the cage and their dog got hold of his butt. So we’ll be watching over the next few months as his new feathers grow in.

I put his cage next to hers, and she gave me the

“WHAT FRESH HELL IS THIS??????” death glare.

I kept them in their separate cages for the first night, though he was absolutely enamored with her from the first second. He was pacing back and forth endlessly, climbing the inside of his cage, etc, wanting to be with her. She, however, wanted no part of him.

The next morning, they were both much more calm. I opened his cage, put the opening in front of her open door, and he hopped in all by himself.

Any new bird we’ve ever had seems to have the same first thought once they’re inside. “Gosh! It’s so BIG!”

Squeak instantly started with the freaking out, of course, but the brave boy climbed up the back wall to the top perch to introduce himself. Over the course of the next couple hours, there was a good deal of her chasing him around, shooing him off perches and away from toys.


(That feather is SO on the other wing now! lulz)

Now and then she’s nice. She plays with a toy, and lets him play too. I did post the video yesterday of his very first bath. It’s adorable. He wasn’t sure about getting into the pool, so he was on the side of the cage and reached his wing down to stir it in the water.

How did the Brat get out-bratted?

In the exact same way that she had bratted Bumper. But instead of a Forbidden Perch, it was the Forbidden Mirror.

He really likes the big round mirror. In fact, he’s napping in front of it as I type this. Well, she decided he wasn’t allowed to look in it. She was on the perch in front of it and he had climbed on the side of the cage to peer around the rim of the mirror.

She turned to see him, pecked at him with a scolding sound. He pulled back away. She faced forward again. He peered around the mirror again to see the pretty birdies in the mirror. He made some sound that alerted her. She turned, pecked, he pulled back. This continued for a couple minutes, with him learning to anticipate her turning around. He would pull back before she turned, so she would see him next to the mirror rather than looking in it.

“What?” he seemed to shrug at her. “I’m not looking in the mirror.”

“We had a 10 yr consensual relationship, so I didn’t rape her.”

[Paraphrased] “We had a 10 yr consensual relationship, so I didn’t rape her.”

This is what Harvey Weinstein is using as his excuse for one of his accusers.

Okay, here’s the thing, tubby. Spousal rape is a real thing. It’s a law in all 50 states that a husband may not force himself on his wife. Husband and wife is a consensual relationship too; but if she says no or otherwise is reluctant and he has sex with her anyway, then that husband is guilty of rape.

A wife can withdraw her consent. She can choose to NOT GIVE her consent for any sexual interlude. It is her right. If a wife can do that, so can the women you hold power over but aren’t married to.

A woman, any woman, can say yes 1000 times. If she says no on the 1001st and you fuck her anyway, you are a rapist.

If she changes her mind in the middle of intercourse and wants to stop, you have to stop or you’re a rapist.

That’s how consent works out there in the vanilla/decent society world you work in.

I didn’t decide this. The courts did. I can’t wait to hear the “GUILTY on all counts” verdict come back on you.

I hope your cell is right next to Bill Cosby’s…and I’ll see you both (and your lawyers) in Hell, where your rapist (excusatory) asses will be MINE.